Episode 6: Buried with Purpose
Graham Garner of the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground and Namrata Kolla of Coeio join episode 6 of Kaddish to share stories of synchronicity and celebrating identity in burial.
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Learn more about Coeio
Transcript
Episode 6: Buried with Purpose
Graham Garner of the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground and Namrata Kolla of Coeio join episode 6 of Kaddish to share stories of synchronicity and celebrating identity in burial.
Names to check for spelling: JB Brager, Sam Shane, Eva Doherty and Claire Lefton, Chelsea Noriega, Sid Weisman and Alex Stern.
For transcript errors: rorymalone@protonmail.com
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Transcript:
[R. Ariana Katz]: Walking through the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground, Graham Garner gives me a tour of the relatively small plot. One can walk the circumference in about 20 minutes, something I ended up doing a few times over the course of my visit there. The Friends Southwestern Burial Ground buried their first congregant in 1861. Walking through the plot, the view is much lower than at other cemeteries, there are no large monuments or benches, just headstones that only rise a few inches above the ground.
[Graham Garner]: They almost look like a British loaf of bread, just sticking out of the ground, and they just have the person's name and the date of birth and the date of death on them. A few of them say "daughter of" or something like that, but in the really old days, Quakers didn't even have headstones. And then when they started having headstones, they would put them at the side of the cemetery, not actually on the grave itself, just leaning on the wall. And then eventually, they settled on these very simple sort of ones that we've got here. And the very earliest ones that I've just got initials on.
[R. Ariana Katz]: That's Graham, he wasn't raised Quaker who grew up in the United Kingdom is a Roman Catholic.
[Graham Garner]: Although not a very good one.
[R. Ariana Katz]: After school, Graham got a job in a Quaker bookshop. It was through that work that he began learning about Quakerism and eventually became a Quaker. In 2001, he fell in love with a woman who ran a Quaker bookshop in the United States, basically, his US bookshop counterpart. And so he moved here to live with her. Later with a baby on the way, the two of them were looking for a place to live, which is when the groundskeeper position at the cemetery opened up. So without hesitation,
[Graham Garner]: We applied, and we got the job and moved here. And it was part time, supposed to be 12 hours a week, and I was continuing to work at the bookshop. And then, so I got very gradually introduced to how you bury people. It's certainly not been anything I had any experience of before. I felt certainly quite nervous, especially for the first few burials. I don't you know, don't believe in ghosts or anything like that. So, I don't feel at all off put by having all these dead bodies lying around the place. But yeah, just nervous about you know, getting things right. And it's an important time for people and they're very sad and yeah, trying to do be a support and do the best you can when you don't really know exactly what's going on, that, you know, that was a bit nerve-racking.
[R. Ariana Katz]: The graves are dug by a big plow that can manage to do most of the digging in a few good swipes. When Graham moved to the cemetery, someone else dug the graves. But then the plow operator threw out his back and Graham would have to take on his duties. He was now responsible for all of the aspects of burial at the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground. Some of the processes surprised him.
[Graham Garner]: For every burial, a guy would turn up with a huge, great concrete bolt and we would have the grave ready, and he put the concrete vault in the ground.
[R. Ariana Katz]: Many cemeteries actually require the caskets to be laid not directly into the ground, but rather inside of a concrete vault. Some say this practice is to protect the water table and the ecosystem from decomposing bodies. But others question that, saying aren't decomposing bodies a natural part of our ecosystem? More on that later. For many people, including Jews, Muslims, and others who are committed to a greener burial, vaults keep our bodies from direct contact with the Earth.
[Graham Garner]: Burial Ground started recording that in 1955, like most other cemeteries do, in theory, they're supposed to stop the ground, sinking-good for maintenance, but I'm not completely sure they, they do.
[R. Ariana Katz]: Graham's doing about one to two burials a year and managing to serve the Quaker population in Philadelphia just fine. In fact, some families would travel from as far as Utah to bury their loved ones on a family plot. But he wasn't doing enough burials and wondering what would be next for the cemetery, when some of the cemeteries neighbors came to him with a request.
[Graham Garner]: This poor guy, Rafiq Jameson, who was a security guard had been shot and his family lived very locally. So, they asked if we could do a Muslim burial here. And we said, yes.
[R. Ariana Katz]: And so, this Quaker cemetery started performing Muslim burials in 2013, 152 years after its founding.
[Graham Garner]: They sort of guided us into how to do it. I don't, it's very different way. We buried Rafiq to the way we came to bury people, eventually. Some of the people who came to that, one of them was Sister Quay, who helped found one of the earlier Muslim schools in Philadelphia and was very well known in the community. And she knew she had cancer. So, she was looking to, to need a grave in the next year or two. And she and her mosque talked to us quite extensively about whether we could do that. And we said we would. And so, when she was buried here, an awful lot of people from the Muslim community came. And I think that's just how we, we got known. And there's only a few undertaker's who really do Muslim burials, maybe four or five in Philadelphia. And they all heard about us, and we just gradually began to get more burials. And I don't think we didn't- it was a difficult learning process. We ended up having imams come out and show us how it should be, be done, and eventually I think we settled on a way that seems to work for everyone.
[R. Ariana Katz]: While every denomination has a different custom around burial, this tradition is what imams and educators helped Graham and the rest of his team figure out. Muslim graves need to be dug by hand because of the smaller crevice at the bottom of the grave. The grave itself has two layers, the first being about the width of six feet, but the second layer deeper down in the ground is smaller. It's in that cavity that mourners place the body of the deceased by four so adults who climb together into the first indent of the grave and lower the body of the deceased without a coffin but wrapped in a shroud into the smallest part. The body is turned to face towards Mecca. Muslims are buried alongside one another in a large plot at the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground in a designated section. The Muslim dead are washed and shrouded quite similarly to Jews in a ritual purification process.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to visit the room at Al Aqsa Islamic Society. Perks of being a death educator and tourist. In the room, it looked exactly the same as the room where I do a taharah. When I first learned about the work that the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground is doing, burying Quakers and Muslims in the same cemetery, I was first overjoyed about the multiple communities sharing sacred ground and breaking barriers that separate neighbors from one another. Through my conversation with Graham, what strikes me most about this special place is how matter of fact everyone is. While Graham and his team that I spoke with recognize the importance of an anchor and a safe space, during increasing times of Islamophobia, the work for them is about individual dignity and providing a service to the community. The meaningful coincidence cannot be ignored though.
Carl Jung explains this concept called synchronicity, which means that events can be meaningful coincidences if they are not causally related, but seemed to have a particular connection. The Friends Southwestern Burial Ground exemplifies this idea, as it commits to preserving the values of modesty in burial, respect for the dead, and finding sacred ground to honor loved ones.
In recent weeks, Muslim communities in Philadelphia and St. Louis have shown up with great compassion for Jewish communities helping restore desecrated cemeteries. In addition to raising over $120,000 to help fund the restoration, leaders like Linda Sarsour and Tarek-El-Messidi were showing up physically to help restore these burial sites. El-Messidi, the founding director of Celebrate Mercy was on the ground in Philadelphia physically hoisting up destroyed headstones. In his teaching about why as a Muslim, he showed up for the Jewish community in this moment, he brought a teaching about the Prophet Muhammad. He taught that Muhammad was sitting with his disciples when he saw a Jewish funeral passed by and so stood in respect. His disciples said, This is not a Muslim funeral. Why are you standing? And Muhammad replied, is it not a human soul? It is a basic human right for everyone to rest in peace.
[R. Ariana Katz]: (Choir music in background). Some things just fit. Some customs that we use to wash and dress and bury our dead look the same. Sometimes there's room at the cemetery when room is needed. Strong arms to live headstones when strong arms are needed. Sometimes it is not flashy or hard, but a simple answer that yes, there is room for all of us here.
[R. Ariana Katz]: Okay, so remember the cement vaults that Graham told us about earlier. The whole reason that many states require them, outside of those cemeteries wanting the ground to look pretty and even, is to protect the water table. So, for areas with porous soil, decomposing bodies can leach toxins into the water. Like chemicals used in traditional Christian American burials like the wood used to treat caskets and the toxins used the embalming process are incredibly dangerous to ingest.
Green Burial is a response to this and is explained as a way of caring for the dead with minimal environmental impact that aids in the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emission, protection of worker health, and the restoration or preservation of habitat. Green Burial necessitates the use of nontoxic and biodegradable materials such as caskets, shrouds, and urns. Sounds pretty good. But the work of Jae Rhim Lee and the company she founded, Coeio, explains that it's not just the chemicals used in our burial that we need to be worried about. You might know about the project outside of their official company name. Jae Rhim is the artist who created the mushroom suit, publicly launching this idea in a 2011 TED Talk, Jae Rhim Lee explained that within our very bodies are toxins that pollute the environment. She said that a recent study found BPA in 93% of people six and older. The Center for Disease Control in the US says that we have 219 toxic pollutants in our bodies, including preservatives, pesticides, and heavy metals like lead and mercury.
This issue of our poisonous bodies has also come up in the tradition of Sky Burial, which is a practice in China, Tibet, Shanghai, Sichuan, Mongolia, Bhutan, and Nepal and parts of India. It's a funeral practice in which a human corpse is placed on a mountaintop to decompose while exposed to the elements or to be eaten by scavenging animals, especially carrion birds. Recently, though, it's become increasingly hard to have Sky Burial. This is particularly because of religious marginalization but also because of an increase in chemicals in the human body. Our bodies are so filled with toxins that the birds of prey encouraged to consume the dead simply do not, as it makes them sick, and some of them have died. Bodies that were once honored in the cycle of life and death are no longer able, because of the toxicity that our bodies hold. Jae Rhim began learning about green burial the same time she was learning about the staggering amount of toxins in the human body, and the power of mushrooms and decomposition and micromediation, which is a really big word that means using fungi to aid in the decomposition and reduction of toxins. So it was from all of this that she launched the Infinity Burial Suit. I spoke with Namrata about what exactly mushrooms had to do with burial.
[Namrata Kolla]: My name is Namrata Kolla and I am the partnerships manager for Coeio.
[R. Ariana Katz]: Coeio is an alternative burial system that uses mushrooms to decompose and clean toxins in bodies.
[Namrata Kolla]: The suit looks like a regular suit.
[R. Ariana Katz]: But what is it actually? Just like most burial suits the Infinity Burial Suit unbuttons completely in the front which is easier for funeral directors
[Namrata Kolla]: Parts of the suit and same for the shroud can be uncovered, so that you can have a viewing
[R. Ariana Katz]: Infused into the threads of the Infinity Burial Suit are fungi and flower seeds, a combination of growing things, that will aid in the decomposition of the body, process the toxins in a body, and foster new life. Like all green burials, all materials associated with the Infinity Burial, which is what Coeio does, are biodegradable. Namrata says that Infinity Burials actually leave the environment better off. Looking at photos of a Coeio suit, I can't help but notice how similar they are to tachrichim.
Tachrichim are the burial shrouds that Jews are normally buried in, and consists of a shirt jacket pants and a cap. You can listen to Episode Two of Kaddish for more on just how Jews wash and dress the dead. Fundamental to Jewish burial is a belief that bodies will return to the earth as we came, which is why traditionally everything including the burial shrouds, the untreated pine box, and the avoidance of embalming exist so as to not stand in the way of body's natural decomposition. Genesis 3:19, right at the beginning says, "from dust you came into dust you shall return".
But what is responsible decomposition in this time when our bodies, that even naturally buried, can still have negative aspects on this Earth? Is aiding in bodies' decomposition, a new Jewish ethic? Certainly, preserving bodies using chemicals is not a traditional Jewish practice, but where did embalming even come from?
[Namrata Kolla]: That started in the Civil War in the United States when parents really wanted to see their their kids, especially their sons, come back home. So they would embalmed bodies, with formaldehyde to transport the body back home.
[R. Ariana Katz]: And here's the sticky part, right? Because how we bury our dead comes from traditions developed for honoring the dead and to comfort the living.
[Namrata Kolla]: So, I think what's wrong with traditional burials is that a lot of patterns have just built up over time and we've lost the original purpose. So, that's you know, which is to respect the dead and to respect who's left behind.
[R. Ariana Katz]: For some embalming and burial in a treated casket is the most realistic and connected way to honor the dead, and a way of helping the living say goodbye. By pouring resources and attention into the life of the departed. But for others, this is just how funerals are supposed to look. We outsource the thinking about funerals and lose a chance to live out our values. We can develop new traditions that honor the dead and respect the rest of us who are alive, invest in the future of our planet, and live out our values even in our dying.
[Namrata Kolla]: You've been environmentally conscious your whole life and you've been taking action. Now you're about to be buried. How do we tackle that part? So it fits right in with the overall view of how do we as a generation be more environmentally conscious?
[R. Ariana Katz]: Namrata reports good response in the United States and was surprised that the response has actually come from every region in the country. So, let's say you're convinced, and you want to start planning to have an Infinity Burial mushroom suit and all. The first step is to decide on a shroud or a liner or a suit. And to figure out where exactly you're going to be buried. The Green Burial Council website has a resource for this. Coeio is now actually offering free consultation and planning for any of its clients. But most of all, it's important to vision and discuss with loved ones. Episode One of Kaddish has a lot of discussion on advanced planning. Because to actually execute an Infinity Burial requires a lot of work from the people who will survive you. Both the shroud and the suit are $1,500.
[Namrata Kolla]: For somebody who has never thought about funeral planning before or had to plan one for somebody else, that's a lot of money. It sounds like a lot of money. But that's why a whole aspect of our company is educating people on funeral planning in general, because the truth is a traditional funeral, if you do, get embalmed and get a casket and get a vault, some might make you believe if you aren't aware that these are actually all optional, ends up costing upwards of $5,000. So, we're cutting those costs, and adding on this whole aspect of improving the environment around the body.
[R. Ariana Katz]: I'm not sure how I feel about the suit. I'm not sure I want one for my body. When I think about my own dying, I know I want to be washed and consecrated by taharah and wrapped in tachrichim and my tallit. I have a story of what death looks like, what images of it are. Introducing the Infinity Burial Suit makes me reimagine exactly what poisonous chemicals my physical body contains. Hard facts that are kind of upsetting to integrate. It also challenges me to reimagine what religious custom needs to accomplish in changing times, and the responsibility that we have to our planet even after we die.
I also don't know how much I want to change my own expectations for my death, and how many of my own family customs I want to get rid of. If we know embalming is so bad for the environment, does it mean we have to give it up? What about if I knew I could get buried in an Infinity Burial Suit? Aren't I compelled to make that choice? Jae Rhim said in her TED Talk, accepting death means accepting that we are physical beings who are intimately connected to the environment, as the research on environmental toxins confirms.
Then once we understand that we are connected to the environment, we see that the survival of our species depends on the survival of the planet. I believe that this is the beginning of true environmental responsibility. Coeio gives us a way of honoring the impact we've had on the earth and becoming active agents and changing our behaviors. The work of the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground is challenging us to think about the boundaries we draw between groups of people, and how flexible we think we can be. Seeing Coeio's burial shrouds and the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground burying Muslims and Quakers side by side, leaves me wondering just what values we think we're playing out when we die. And just what stories about our life and death we're telling.
When our bodies hold multiple traditions and values at once, multiple faith practices or ethical values or family traditions, when we blend all of that into one body, we have to create new ways of mourning and honoring our dead. And we have to respond to the changing world, leaning on tradition and making it work for the world in which we now find ourselves. That is our task, and we can creatively answer it together.
[R. Ariana Katz]: As always, I am so grateful for our listeners and the brilliant Kaddish team. Have questions, feedback or comments? You can give us a call at 240-KADDISH. Seriously. The vocals in this episode came from the Philadelphia Threshold Choir rehearsal (that they) let me join in on. You can learn more about this really special choir that sings to the dying in hospice at thresholdchoir.org/philadelphia. We're almost at the end of our fundraiser head to kaddishpodcast.com or bit.ly/kaddishpodcast to go there directly. We're offering wonderful tinctures made by a friend of the podcast Jonah Daniel and Plants as Allies. These tinctures are made to ease symptoms of grief and open the heart during times of pain. We've got other goodies including stickers with our awesome logo designed by JB Brager, and a grief venture zine with poetry and prayers that you can take into houses of mourning, written by yours truly. Any amount of a donation really helps the show continue. And I'm so grateful for everyone who has already given so generously. For this episode, so many thank-yous to Graham Gardner and Martin Ventura of the Friends Southwestern Burial Ground, to Sam Shane, to Eva Doherty and Claire Lefton, to the Philadelphia Threshold Choir, Chelsea Noriega, Sid Weisman and the Jewish Federation of Greater Hartford. This episode was produced by fearless Kaddish producer Alex Stern. I'm Ariana Katz and this is Kaddish.